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Man with the popcorn in the row behind me at Neighbors To the man in the row behind me at the x : x PM showing of "Neighbors" on Thursday night at the Odeon in , BC: I have to admit that I didn't anticipate having to defend women and humanity tonight when I left the house. Maybe that was naive, thinking that maybe just once I wouldn't hear anything that would make my run cold and my heart pound in my ears. I guess I was naive. After a wonderful dinner, my boyfriend and I seriously considered simply returning home to play boardgames and drink beer, but instead we decided to brave the dark, raucous theatre to see a silly, lighthearted movie. That's when I met you. You came in just after us, with your buddy who lamented seeing a movie "for the first time EVER without popcorn" and you and he seemed and friendly and, aside from the occasionally rambunctious , unobtrusive and inoffensive. I was naive. Sandler and the very , glowing Barrymore appeared on the screen in a pre-movie interview, plugging their new movie "Blended" and you, man in the row behind me, exclaimed, loudly, exuberantly, in a horrified voice that carried throughout the entire theatre "SHE'S FAT!" I have to admit that I struggled with a million different ways to handle the situation. I wanted to turn on you and scream in your face, you, rage against you, tell you how your mother and sister and aunt and friends and grandmother would be if they heard you. I didn't. I couldn't. I turned to you and stared for a moment, still unsure what to say, and you looked at me unapologetiy and before I had the chance to speak, said, "I'm sorry. But it's true," in that way that silly, naive people do in a way that tells me they know nothing about oppression, have never been oppressed. It's like you were saying 'I don't make the rules, honey. You can't blame me for setting the status quo.' I said, "she's ," empathiy, in a way that said 'I caught you. I heard you. You have no where to run or hide, you are being held accountable by a stranger and I'm not sorry in the slightest for doing it.' There are many ways you could have handled this. You could have been apologetic, to which I would have smiled and laughed it off and let it go and never written this. You could have been embarrassed and shrugged it off or ignored me, to which I would have turned around, laughed to my boyfriend about have a complete dweeb you are and probably never thought about you again. Would I have been so lucky. Instead you chose to look right back at the screen and said to it and not me (being too cowardly to face the ferocious wildcat staring you down) "some women let themselves go when they are ." Your mother would have been . Your sister would have been . Your aunt and grandmother and friends would have been . Maybe your father and brother and uncle and grandfather would have been too. I I have to admit that I struggled with a million different ways to handle your seemingly effortless response. I wanted to turn on you and scream in your face, you, rage against you, tell you about the women who would be enraged at your words and the others would wouldn't be at all surprised. But I didn't. I saw little point of you out at the time and backing you into a corner. I could have, what are you but shortsighted and ignorant compared to me, wielder of self esteem and a vision. You're still a person with feelings, hot bitches near stuart possibly even embarrassed ones at that point (though I'm not relying on that). Maybe you will remember that moment someday soon and think to yourself, "I am better than those words I said, those terrible, oppressive words." Maybe I am naive. I'm you out now. Publicly. Be a human. Be a member of a society who is trying to the trail towards love and openness and inclusion and safety. Someday, man in the row behind me, you might have a daughter and she might come home, crying, heartbroken and shattered, because someone said "YOU'RE FAT!" To her. Maybe then you will get it. I want you to know, with complete and utter certainty that my mother and sister and aunts and grandmothers and friends, will be working to liberate women and humans from that severe, talented tongue wanting sum1 to lick
older women in Letpankashe judgement. With any luck your beautiful daughter will join us. There is a beautiful, mesmerizing person named Panti Bliss, also known as O'Neill who talks about what feels oppressive and I'm going to add something to the very long list of things they consider oppressive: Have you, man in the row behind me, ever been in front of a mirror in a bathing suit before you go to the lake and silently mouthed the words that someone has taunted you with? "Fatty." "Skeleton." "Bulky." "Eat more." "Eat less." Maybe you have. Maybe you haven't. We are told that sticks and stones might break our bones, but words ain't worth a quarrel, but that's not good enough anymore. Being told that words don't take a toll... Well, that feels goddam oppressive, doesn't it? Sincerely, The girl in the row ahead of you.